Ping Pong Portugal

This article is featured in the current edition of Gay Pages. Here’s a sneak preview of what you can expect:

“I gape in amazement at all the beautiful, ancient buildings, imagining what it must have been like to live in this city a thousand years ago. It’s as if one of the seven veils is lifted from my eyes and a new city is born. Suddenly this dusty old girl lifts up her warn-through skirt and shows me her good side. And with that, a part of that ancient civilization filters through the street vents, infecting the modern day townsfolk and leaves everyone and everything with a slight tinge of something peculiar.”

“The next part of the evening is somewhat of a blur: drag queens, French guys with hairy chests and more beer. I dance like someone who closely resembles a middle aged ape who swallowed a muscle relaxant. Not that it matters – the hairy hunk from France with the come-to-bed-lips doesn’t seem to care one bit. His hands are everywhere on my body, touching, feeling and groping whatever he can find.

…and that’s where the night takes a very interesting turn. I walk straight into the gaze of baby Fabio. Oh Fabulous Fabio who weighs a mere 49kg’s, wears a chain around his neck (similar to the ones you use to tow cars) and an over sized T-shirt that says “Freak My Boom Boom”. He has the deepest, darkest, most mysterious brown eyes, a thick bush of black curly hair and knows all the lyrics to Die Antwoord’s hit I Fink U Freeky.”